H-A-P-P-Y

Sometimes, our emotions can be expressed in very simple language. Like today, I am happy. It'a as straightforward as that.Truly happy to be back; happy to meet some of my ex-students.

On returning

All too quickly, the vacation is drawing to a close. It seems as if the past six months did not just pass me by; it whizzed past. I remember talking to a bunch of students just outside the staffroom on the last day of school last October. And they were telling me that I must return to CSS after my training. In less than a week's time, I will be back. I have not quite finished my training but then again, the next ten weeks (practicum) that I will spend in the school is part of my training.

I was over the moon when I first learnt that MOE has posted me back to do my practicum. Strange how as the day approaches, apprehensions are beginning to set in. Am I excited to be back? Yes, I am. I look forward to meeting some of my colleagues and students, who have important roles to play in making me so fond of the school. Then what is it? Perhaps it has to do with the nagging fear that I may not be good enough, personal expectations, and anxieties of the unknown (As a student, I am trouble-free so long as I submit my homework on time. But in the working world, it's a different story altogether. I have learnt the importance of being on my toes), etc.

Well, I will be back on Monday. Though the training is a mere ten weeks, I still hope to be able to deposit something into all my students be it knowledge, skills or values. Grace, grace, I really need more grace in my life.

Dearly, Nearly, Sincerely

Adverbs tell us when and how
Like quickly do your homework now
They often help describe the verbs,
Like patiently plant peas and herbs.

Adverbs will frequently end in “l-y”
As in viciously, ultra-suspiciously sly
Adverbs add character, sizzle and fizz
To your phrase or your sentence, whatever it is

arply, my dad said to hand him a razor
Lightly, I asked him, “Did you see that laser?”
Frankly, this hot dog just couldn’t be better.
Sheepishly, Fred found he’d ruined his sweater.

If they tell us how, they’re an “adverb of manner,”
Like, slowly this summer, my sister got tanner.
Or, quietly sneak up to where she is sunning
And give her a squirt from the hose that is running.

“Frequency adverbs” will tell us how often,
Like, seldom have I seen a lovelier coffin.
Always eat cookies and never eat pine.
Sometimes, I’m nervous but usually fine.

Adverbs can help in explaining how much,
As in, this is extremely delightful to touch
.Or Johnny is somewhat afraid of the spider,
And Mickey has hardly been touching his cider.

They give us a time, a place and a number.
Like, yesterday, over there, I was in slumber.
First, I was tired, then I was woozy.
Next, I began feeling sleepy and snoozy.

They modify adverbs like, she sang quite nicely.
Or he speaks so swiftly but very precisely.
They modify verbs and adjectives,too,
Like, slowly he ate and she’s really blue.

Presently, pleasantly, properly praise.
Speedily, sometimes quite greedily graze.
Curiously, furiously strikingly strong,
Helplessly lost and hopelessly wrong.

Adverbs, you’ll find give the adjectives zip!
As in foolishly frisky and famously hip –
Bitterly angry, bitingly cold,
Brilliantly burgundy, shockingly old.

The adjective’s “good”, the adverb is “well”
.So now that you know that, you’re able to tell
That well’s how you felt, and good was your day
Yes, well is a very deep subject, I’d say!

Dearly, nearly, insincerely,
Daily, weekly, monthly, yearly,
Truly, deeply, sadly, badly,
I tell you these are adverbs, gladly.

And so are sleekly and uniquely,
Bravely, boldly, coldly, meekly.
Brightly, slightly, impolitely –
You’d say that these are adverbs, rightly.

So, what is an adverb? Do you know?

~by Brian P.Cleary

Heart-warming books

Having read two books by Colin Cheong, he is fast becoming my favourite local author.

Tangerine

Written in a relatively simple style, it is easy to be absorbed in this book. This book has also changed my attitudes and views about travelling. Flipping through the pages of the book, I feel as if I have gone on a mental trip to various parts Vietnam along with Nick, the narrator. And I realized that there is much beauty in even the most backward of countries if we bother to look closely enough. I hope to visit the Third World countries, feel the dust and grime, experience a different culture and see how people in these parts of the world make a living.

The Stolen Child

A pretty lengthy novel compared to Tangerine, but worth a read. This novel chronicles the life of a boy named Wings through his childhood days to his early adolescent years. Some of the events that take place in the book may seem common enough. But the author sure has a way with the way he words his thoughts and strings his words into sentences, making even the ordinary seem extraordinary.

A key idea in the novel is that of growing up���an idea that has been very well explored in the novel. An eight-year-old at the beginning of the story, growing up means receiving more mature gifts on birthdays. By the end of the novel, we would realize that growing up is not simply something physical, such as a growth spurt. It means learning to accept the things we cannot change, how to respond to situations, being exposed to the harsher sides of life and sticking by what we believe in, thereby daring to be different.

The protagonist, who by no coincidence, is called Wings, has a dream to fly. At a tender age of nine, he has already thought of how he wanted to die������ To die in aerial combat, a heat-seeking missile to turn his angel of steel into a ball of orange flame and debris.��� But as luck would have it, he developed myopia, shattering all dreams to ever become a pilot. The day he found out that he had myopia, the world came crashing over him, causing him to develop a sense of lethargy towards everything. The novel shows that while we may never get over shattered dreams, growing up means learning to move on with life. In the words of Janet, one of the teachers-in-charge of scouts, whom Wings is very close to, ���It was a lovely dream while it lasted, but when you wake up, life goes on, understand?���

Why did Wing���s parents have to file for a divorce? Though it was a decision made by the adults, it was one that has implications on the children. For example, Wings had to join a school closer to his new home. But growing up means learning to accept the facts and taking them in his stride.

During Job Week, the scouts have to approach families, ask for jobs and earn some money for their services. The money will benefit charity organisations later on. Once, he was asked to be a mourner for an old lady who passed away; on another, to be a spy for an illegal gambling den; and even tidying the bed for a whore. These job opportunities opened his eyes to a whole new world, which is not always pleasant to know. I like what Wings says about ���And that was when I thought of the poor old woman in the box, with no one to really cry for her, all alone in death and surrounded by living people who were all dead in their own ways.��� Yes, growing up comes with a price. Somehow, the blemishes and little ironies of life become more apparent to us. Suddenly, the blissful world we once knew isn���t so blissful anymore.

At fourteen, Wing���s bunch of friends decide to explore the birds and the bees, even giving way to their baser instincts. Wings, however, stood his ground, knowing full well that being different may cause him to be an outcast. Sticking by your value systems in spite of your friends, now, that is what I call true growing up and maturity.

Below, I have included an exchange between Wings and Janet (teacher-in-charge of Scouts) during his childhood years.


Dear Janet,

Hi, it���s Wings again. Thanks for the Christmas present. I got it only after New Year���s Day. I suppose it was the rush that made it late. Anyway, I like it a lot, though I can���t understand everything in it. It���s a rather funny kind of fairy tale���have you read it yourself? It has to be a fairy tale because of the things that happen in it. There���s a little prince with no mum or dad (okay, mine aren���t around all the time, but they are somewhere, if you see what I mean). A planet so small one can see many sunsets in a day just by moving the chair. And cooking breakfast over a volcano. And all those funny people he meets. Is this some sort of fable, like Aseop���s? There���s the fox that wants to be tamed. Janet���why does he want to be tamed so that he will wait for the Prince and feel sad when he doesn���t come? I���d rather not expect so I won���t miss. Maybe you can explain it all to me someday or maybe I���ll find out for myself when I grow up. My mum says that fairytales have another meaning for grown up people. Maybe it���s true.

Congratulations on your engagement too. Yes, I remember seeing him at the department store. He looks alright, so I suppose it���s okay if you marry him. Let me know when you���ve fixed a date. I shall send you a wedding card. It���s nice to know that things are going well for you. I miss you quite a lot now, and I guess I���ll miss you more when you���re in America with your husband (he���ll be by then, right?) Don���t forget to write to me once in a while and be sure to tell me when you���ve got kids. Will they become Scouts and Brownies too?

By the way, I always thought you had finished school already, how come you���re going back to study again? I hope it���s optional because I don���t want to spend too much of my life in school. My dad keeps going on about university and I haven���t sat for my PSLE. My mum���s such a nag too, when it comes to work. The way she nags me now, can you imagine what she���ll be like by the time I get to Sec. Four? Studying and parents take all the fun out of school.

Oh yes, I haven���t been a terribly good boy or Scout lately. I got into my first fight the other day. My Sixer can���t admit a mistake and keeps insulting me. Anyway, no one reported it because it happened outside of school and because I think they are a little scared of me now. It makes things easier in a way. They don���t talk back when I tell them to do things. And they disobey the Sixer as often as they disobey me. Yes, Janet, I know a lot of it isn���t right, but it���s the only way I can get things done. I think I���m beginning to understand what the difference is between 1010 and 2400. At 1010, everything we did, we did to win. Over here, we just want to get things done and over with. And play football afterwards.

Sometimes I miss my old friends from 1010, but I don���t know if they���ll accept me as I am now. I don���t think I���ll ever be different to you because you know what I���m really like. But they don���t. I mean Boon Ming and all of them. I���m sure they���ll say I���ve changed and become worse. So I got no home and no home to go back to. When I grow up, one of the first things I���m going o buy is my own house. And anyone who doesn���t like what I do or the way I do them can leave! I���ll let you visit me and I won���t kick you out no matter what you say because you���re a good friend!

Time is really starting to move fast, though I don���t know why. Are the days longer in the North? They say when you enjoy yourself, time flies. But I���m not enjoying myself, so why, Janet? Everything seemed to last longer when I was in 1010. I was a P3 and it felt like forever and I had so much fun. Then suddenly I was in P4 and I changed school. Half-year here, half-year there and I���m in P5 and an Assistant Sixer. Gosh, I mean I���m what Nathan used to be! And all those dreams we had about being like Benjamin, well, they sort of disappeared into the air. I don���t think about badges anymore. I still wear only a Bonze. Hope you aren���t ashamed of me. But somehow, it hasn���t been important around here. How has Boon Ming been doing? We hardly call each other now and when we do, there���s so little to say. Of course, I haven���t seen him since I left 1010. Is he on his way to Gold? According to the plans we made, that���s where we should be now.

But plans somehow don���t always turn out the way you hope. May yours work out. I really, really want you to be happy forever, Janet. Well, I���ve got to go to bed now. School is less than ten hours away. Don���t worry too much about me. I���m learning to take care of myself. All my love, Wings.


Dear Wings,
It���s been awhile since I���ve heard from you. What have you been up to? I���m quite surprised at some of the things you���ve been telling me. You���ve grown up to be rather naughty. Wings, it���s really not necessary to hit anyone, you know. Don���t do it anymore, okay? I don���t want you to get into trouble.

I know there are a lot of things that are making you unhappy, and I wish that there was more I could do to help you. And it will be even harder when I go away. But Wings, remember the Law you once repeated to me when you were younger? That Law can still be use now. It means the same things it always has and if you follow it, it will see you through all the bad or sad times in your life.

I know how it is. Lots of people who promise to obey it never do. But that does not mean you have to go the same way too, Wings. Think about it. Baden Powell never meant it to be a Law that one boy insists another boy follows. It���s not for me to remind you to do this, that or the other. The Law is something to keep in your own heart. Do you know what I mean when I say it���s got to come from within? It���s self-discipline and a guide to living decently.

Enough of that. I suppose you will get tired of reading my letters if all I do is to scold you and tell you to be good. I can���t help it. I care a lot about you.

I���ll be leaving in a fortnight���s time and these few weeks I���ve spent rushing around to get my winter clothes etc. My wedding���s going to be very simple, so there isn���t very much to do. The money that would have been spent on the dinner and partying is going to pay for our first year���s fees.

I���ll be getting married at the registry next week and there���ll be a dinner at home for both our families. And that���s about it. I would have made you come if I had gotten married in a church. You know, every girl dreams of getting married in a grand way in a lovely gown in a lovely church. I did once too. But I guess it���s who you marry that���s important, not how or where. I hope you���re not hurt that I didn���t send you a wedding invitation. As you can see, there���s going to be no ceremony to attend.

Wings, I shall miss you terribly when I���m gone. Will you miss me too? I want you to write often and tell me what you���ve been doing and don���t hide anything from me because I want to know how you really are. Yes, you���re probably thinking that I���m too far away to help anyway. But remember that there is always someone who cares and who���s thinking about you and wondering if you���re okay.

Sometimes I wish I didn���t have to go, because it means leaving friends like you behind. But even if you can���t see me, Wings, remember what the fox said about not seeing with the eyes but with the heart? Yes, I���ve read that book so many times. I���ve had it ever since I was a little girl and it���s my favorite book, even to this day. That���s why I got it for you. I wanted to share that story with you because it is such a beautiful story of friendship and of the things that really matter. And as you grow up, you���ll find that it���s not just a fairy tale for children. It���s real, and sad. But even in the sadness there is a kind of hope and a gentle peace. The kind only real friends can share.

Wings, no matter what happens between us, or if something happens and we never hear from each other again, remember that we���re always friends, please?

The picture we took together is going with me. And by the time I come home again, I���ll expect you to have grown and changed. But I hope you won���t mind���you���ll always be the little friend who cried because he could not fly, the little boy I���ve grown to love so much.

Goodbye, Wings. Please take care of yourself.

With all my love, always, Janet.

The bane of being myopic

100. 175. Then 275. I am referring to the degree of my short-sightedness.

I do not know exactly when the problem started. All I know is that one afternoon, some years back, I was having lecture on William Blake’s poetry and had some trouble taking down notes from the OHT. But that was not when I discovered that I had developed short-sightedness. My fellow schoolmates were also complaining that the words were far too small and many pairs of eyes were squinting to make out the words flashed on the transparency.

Over the next few weeks, things did not change very much either. I still had difficulties reading from the OHT. This however, I attributed to the inconsiderateness of my teacher who ought to have used a bigger font size. Then one day, I looked around and realized the unnerving truth that I was the only one who could not quite make out the words. The reason why it took me so long to realize this is because since that faithful afternoon, my friend has been the one copying notes from the OHT (visual) while I was in-charge of jotting down whatever my teacher was saying (aural) (We compile both sets of notes after each lecture).

At that age, I thought that I would be free from myopia. After all, it usually strikes when one is still in his childhood or adolescent years; certainly not at eighteen.

I have since then learnt about the bane of being myopic. The vainer part of me resisted having a pair of lenses jutting out from my eyes. The fastidious part of me disliked the feeling of having something rest on my nose all the time. And the independent part of me hated my growing dependency on glasses to bring things into sharp focus.

Within six months, I got my first pair of contact lenses. New problems surfaced. The lenses have to be handled with much care lest they get misplaced. They have to be cleaned thoroughly every night to prevent eye complications from developing. But for me, that was when I realized that I have severely dry eyes. That does not mean that I cannot wear contact lenses. It does mean, however, that I cannot wear them for long hours and is prone to getting eye irritability. On a few occasions, I dozed off on the train and when I woke up, the lenses have hardened in my eyes, causing great discomfort and pain.

Recently, I have switched to one-day Acuvue, which promises more ‘breathable’ lenses. (costly!) Other times, I will just stick to my good, old spectacles and be confident wearing them. But nothing beats having perfect vision. Sigh.