Practising Tough Love

I distinctly remember a perceptive MSN conversation I had with a friend which was to influence how I started off my teaching career.

Friend: How? Excited to start teaching?

Me: Yeah, I like my subjects. I enjoy both Eng and Lit.

Friend: In this job, it is not enough to love your teaching subjects. You must love people.

The advice he gave made a lot of sense to me. I recognized there and then that in this line, we meet all kinds of students everyday; and for me to make this a life-changing job, I have to love people. Bearing this in mind, I walked into the school compound each day challenging myself to love the kids, to find worth in even the most trying students and to make a difference.

What I failed to recognize, however, is that even in love, there has to be a component of discipline in-built into it. I like the term “tough love” which I stole from my fellow colleague because I think it captures the essence of what I am trying to say quite nicely. Sure, love our kids; but like a good parent who disciplines his child when s/he goes astray, we teachers have to take our kids in hand when they do make a mistake. There are things that we cannot compromise on, there are things that we cannot "close an eye on".

Because the idea of discipline seems to conflict with love, disciplining the kids is not always the easiest thing to do. Nevertheless, I have decided that ‘tough love’ is the way to go. What I need my students to understand that when I do scold them, I am not against them. I am just against their actions. The objective of disciplining a kid should never be to humiliate or hurt them; always to ‘bring them back to the right track’—an intent which is essentially grounded in love.

The Capacity to Dream in The Clay Marble

��� Sometimes, if we dream hard enough, those dreams can shape our lives���
~Jantu in The Clay Marble

Some weeks ago, I did a project based on Ho Minfong���s novel, The Clay Marble; and was struck by the notion of dreams, which features prominently in it.

The novel chronicles the lives of two teenage girls, Dara and Jantu, who are caught in a civil war in Cambodia. For them, the key to transcending the senselessness and brutality of war lies in having the capacity to dream. As Jantu puts it, ���Sometimes if we dream hard enough, those dreams can shape our lives��� (Chapter 14).

In the novel, we learn about the many items that Jantu deftly makes out of scrap materials. More than mere ornaments, they are representative of her dreams and hopes for the future. The clay village and figurines of Jantu and Dara���s family, for instance, are indicative of her desire to return home and for Nea (Jantu���s cousin) and Sarun (Dara���s elder brother) to get married so that they can have a ���real family��� once again (Chapter 6). Jantu���s model of two women rhythmically pounding rice represents her longing for a return to the peaceful, predictable life of a rice-farmer. Above all, the clay marble represents both girls��� desire for miracles ��� for good things to happen and their dreams to come true.

Indeed, it is their capacity to dream that sustains them through the difficult seasons of life so that they are able to emerge ���not the victims of war but its victors��� (Preface). The fact that the girls use apparently worthless items (clay, scrap material) to fashion their models is apt, as it symbolizes the way in which we must all strive to make something ���magical��� out of the messy, fragmented fallen world we live in.

Phantom of the Opera

���You���re practically gushing!���

That was the comment my friend made because I could not stop singing praises about the musical (Phantom of the Opera) after we left the Esplanade.

I still can���t. Though I paid a hefty $122 for my ticket, I think that every single cent has been well spent. Man, I am enthralled. Captivated. Spellbound. I am totally mesmerized by the intensity of the Phantom���s voice and the quality of richness in Christine���s. Contrary to criticisms that her voice pales in comparison to Sarah Brighton���s, I think that last night, she shone unabashedly.

Their songs (Think of Me, All I Ask of You and Music of the Night) have become the music of my night.